OUT: BAD MENSWEAR / IN: GOOD MENS HAIR

Though I've always been more of a jeans-wearing-girl, I've only braved 'trousers' or actual pants a few times in my life. I've gotta say though, there's an empowering feeling that comes with wearing business attire - people just kind of respect you more, especially men. And they raise your ass up really nicely! But like with all things, there's a wrong way and right way to do it, and our little Mean Girl on the left totally fucked it up. So while I respect her attempt at a fun, androgynous-esque outfit, the colors and fit are absolutely retarded, and the raised undershirt is only making things worse. Boo, you whore!

Meanwhile you could put dog shit on Lindsey Wixson's head and she'd still look like a Goddess, but she's really doing that manly do some justice. I don't have a good head shape for slicked-back styles, but it looks super elegant on the right gal (Josie from Twin Peaks!) and even more so when paired with her glowing makeup and vixen nails. Might need to use this as my reference next time I visit the nail salon...



OUT: MURDERER BOOTS / IN: SUBTLE BIKER BOOTS

Whenever I see boots like those Jeffrey Campbell joints on the left, I immediately think of Old Man Marley from Home Alone. Am I right?! I seriously don't get what it is that draws designers & fashionistas to wear create/such galoshes, but you definitely won't catch me rocking them!

If you ask me, model Jessica Hart's biker boot game is way more on point. These days they've become such a closet staple that every girl should have a pair, and these would look good on just about anyone. Nice and simple with enough room for your jeans to tuck, plus I love her classic parka adorned with that little pop of leopard. Leah's got an incredible pair by Valentino complete with black bow - peep em here!



OUT: LAZY BEANIES / IN: THE FUR CHAPKA

Don't get me wrong here - I love a good beanie in the wintertime, and I've got a pretty serious collection accumulated since the 90s! But all that aside, I'm seriously over the 'lazy' beanie fad, where the hat is all big and crocheted and slouches over in the back. If you're legitimately cold and using it for warmth, then by all means rock that shit - but I hate the trend of them being worn in the summertime when it's 85 degrees out or by dudes with navel-deep v-necks. Basically, they're like the hat version of harem pants.

Doesn't that chick on the right look super cute? Loving that green/white/cream palette, especially in a winter setting. I acquired an absolutely magnificent fur chapka hat in Paris (leopard print with black fur, thanks Daddy!) and I'm obsessed with them now, hopefully I can build up a little collection someday. As much as I enjoy fur coats, I can't see myself really wearing one on the daily, which is exactly why I'd rather keep the fluff to my accessories. Once I get a bit of loot saved up, I'm heading straight to Orchard st. for a hot pink fox head-wrap. Priorities!



OUT: OVERLY MUSCULAR BODIES / IN: DOPE CURVES

Oh Madge! I guess I gotta give her props for staying to fit and loyal to her workout routine, but sometimes too much exercise makes people look even more unhealthy. Unless you're an acrobat or some sort of super athlete, there's really no need for such insane muscles - it looks like heroin and steroids mixed together :(

Ok ok ok, so I know this girl on the right is probably photoshopped. I might kill myself if she wasn't, but the fact is that some girls in this world do look like that, and without the help of ass implants! If I ever had to describe the dream chick body, that'd probably be it for me. Sigh...the be born in Brazil.