I know I've mentioned this before, but one of my ultimate pet-peeves is when I'm in a public restroom and some chick who thinks her shit don't stink is fully hogging up the mirror, blowing herself cheap lipgloss kisses while applying concealer at the same time. I know that's what they're there for, but in common areas I try to be as courteous as possible, and to me that means taking a quick 5 seconds to check yourself out while you wash your hands, then keeping it moving. Plus who wants to spend any more time than necessary in a public toilet? Back in the comfort of your home however, it's a completely different story. There are days when all I feel like doing is strapping on my biggest heels, turning the music up, and unleashing a booty-popping performance of epic proportions before my very own full-length. How else am I gonna know how I look when I'm out in the club? It's also a terrific workout, just make sure nobody is at home secretly filming you like this little guy. Now, time to unleash the narcissistic beauties!

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Ah, the umbrella. It's one of those necessary items like a hair elastic that I constantly need but can never find around the house, their blandness makes them too easy to misplace! I remember when I was about 14 or so, my Mom had a gorgeous lacey parasol that she'd brought back from Tokyo, and I idiotically took it without asking, then forgot it in a Red Lobster. What a goddamned travesty - I'll never forgive myself for that one, and Mom I understand if you don't either! And that's the exact umbrella that came to mind when I saw this awesome 1950s umbrella fashion show video hailing from Britain - the black widow? Insanity. Still, they got nothin' on the legendary Parapluies De Cherbourg!

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In the past I've often seen artists attempt to modernize classic masterpieces, but never before have I come across someone seeking to re-imagine works they created themselves as a child, and it's kind of a brilliant concept in my opinion. The show - called Homeroom - compares pieces from twenty different artists, allowing us to see how their boundless childhood visions have morphed into mature styles. In some cases I find the kiddie stuff is actually better, but that's the beauty of opinion right? Either way it's an awesome ode to their creative starts, I'm almost tempted to do it myself. It's amazing, the first viking esque/sailor moon-ish image reminds me sooo much of the kinds of things I drew when I was little - check out more here!

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Sure, I check out CNN and the so-called 'real' news shows, but it's all such rehashed bullshit that I might as well watch it from a comedic platform anyway, no? That's why my sources of choice are generally The Daily Show & Colbert Report, they keep me informed while making me laugh, plus John and Steven are both hotties. After Wednesdays republican debate and the now infamous 'oops' moment by Rick Perry, one could only imagine how excited journalistic comics were all across the nation, it's the kind of faux-pas that goes so wrong, you actually manage to feel embarrassed from your spot on the couch. John described it perfectly - like a juicy bone covered in breast meat. Now behold the greatness of this blunder...



I love how my man spelled 'oops' in the air with his hands, amazing. I mean, this is already the kind of shit that happens to you in 5th grade during an oral presentation and scars you for life, can you imagine doing it in front of the entire nation at a debate? Sweet Jesus, how mortifying.

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Well it's that time of year again - the VS Angels have walked the runway, and now all of us simpleton women must obsess over their photos on the internet, clutching our belly fat with one hand and pouring ajax over brownies with the other. The show will officially air on CBS Nov. 29th, but the cat is definitely out of the bag as far as outfits and performers go, and overall I'm just a little disappointed. Last year their lingerie creations seemed so much more whimsical and intricate! Not that there aren't stunning pieces this year - like neon fairy wings and mermaid shell capes - but just see for yourself here in my coverage from 2010. There were some decent pictures of the runway from NY Post, but the backstage photos taken by Tommy Ton for Style.com really do the girls/creations justice. What I absolutely adore about this show aside from the lingerie and fantasy is simply seeing what a blast the girls have and how lively they're encouraged to be. Catwalks are usually all about looking angry and jaded, like human hangers, but here the ladies get bounce around and blow kisses, it's so fun! Anyway, onto the goodies...

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When I was a little kid, one of my absolute favorite cartoons was The Wild Thornberrys on Nickelodeon, where we followed a family of wildlife documenters as they trekked throughout the world, embarking on all sorts of crazy adventures. There were the two freakish parents, the blasé older sister Debbie, wild boy Donny, pet chimp Darwin, and then of course the star of the show, Eliza who can talk to animals. What child wouldn't love that concept?! Plus Gretchen Weiners did Eliza's voice, a fun plus which I only realized after the fact. I know that every pet owner says this, but the connection I have with my dog is beyond anything I could ever have with a human, it's like we have our own special language. Animals can feel your emotions without you even having to say anything, most people are just too self-centered to be that receptive. Someday when I'm old and senile, I'll move to the country and open up a dog shelter to house all the lost pups in this world - until then, I'll just keep looking at adorable pictures of them online. And indulging in retail therapy!

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I've said it before and I'll say it again - as much as I adore my Dillz, if we part ways I'll never date another skateboarder again. No offense to all you skaters out there, I love you, but you try having a piece of grip-taped wood with wheels put before you and see how it feels. Plus once they get to a certain age and can't skate with the same stamina as youngins, a 'skate sesh' inevitably turns into day long trips to the bar, never a good look for gentleman past their 20s. But I digress! Because there are in fact lots of great things about kids that skate, and this video from SLAP is the perfect example. Takes me right back to my little bowl troll days freshman year, where I'd sit on the steps at Union in my plaid pants, breaking my neck at the mere sound of wheels spinning. Sigh, how innocent it all was!



Also, why am I never on the train when shit like this happens? All I see is kids breakdancing and homeless men soiling themselves. 

(TWBE)

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The second I saw this Vogue Italia shoot starring the stunning Constance Jablonski, I knew I had to share with my fellow MOBs - it's like vintage mafia princess meets Alps snow bunny meets Veruschka, how can you go wrong?! I need to get myself to white furry shit asap...

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I'm so excited that Thanksgiving is right around the corner! As I've gotten older, it's easily become one of my favorite Holidays - the coziness, the countryside, the non-stop smoking, cooking, and feasting - I'd do it all year round if I could! Thankfully between then I've got a ton of shit going on to keep me busy, but I've got to say that for the first time in quite a while, I feel rather at peace with myself these days. Maybe it's the colder weather - that summer humidity is known to drive heads crazy - but regardless I'm absolutely not mad at it. Now if only I could get excited about writing again. I think that's the trade-off; inner peace leaves your mind blank, whereas turmoil stirs up the real creativity inside you. That said, I'm not about to go looking for trouble just to arouse the sleeping writer inside me, it'll awake eventually on it's own. In the meantime, here's another round of Gorgeous Things.

(PART 1 HERE IF YOU MISSED IT)

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